The Victims of Martyrs

Ever have a martyr insistently try to be a martyr for you even though you insist that they not be? You repeatedly go to do something and find that they did it for you without consulting you and they want praise for it? You keep finding that you are deadended in your goals because they head you off to “make it easier”. After time, however, the martyrs eventually become beligerent because you don’t really understand how much they have done and have been doing for you.

I have been ruminating lately on the subject of martyrs, what it really means in various arenas, including psychology. I have come to the conclusion for myself that these types of martyrs use it for control. The martyr psychology is similar to the victim psychology except that in the martyr psychology, the person’s victim identity is self-imposed and can be used as a tool to control others while being “out of control” of oneself. I wonder if they realize that they are making others their victims by imposing their martyr psychology on those who never asked or wanted it?

At one time or another we have all been on the giving and the receiving end of the martyr psychology. Martyr actually comes from a Greek root word that means “to witness”. In later terms, it became associated with “to suffer for a cause.” So which definition do we choose to have in our lives?

For the first, do we witness and move on? How long do we witness?

If we have chosen the second, then why do we feel the suffering necessary? And the biggest question of all, what is the cause? Is it a firm conviction or a compulsion?

mar•tyr (märtr)

NOUN:

1. One who chooses to suffer death rather than renounce religious principles.
2. One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle.
3. One who endures great suffering: a martyr to arthritis.
4. One who makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy.

——————————————————————————–
ETYMOLOGY:
Middle English, from Old English, from Late Latin, from Late Greek martur, from Greek martus, martur-, witness
http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/martyr

In its original meaning, the word martyr, meaning witness, was used in the secular sphere as well as in both the Old Testament and the New Testament of the Bible.[1] The process of bearing witness was not intended to lead to the death of the witness, although it is known from ancient writers (e.g. Josephus) that witnesses, especially of the lower classes, were tortured routinely before being interrogated as a means of forcing them to disclose the truth.

During the early Christian centuries, the term acquired the extended meaning of a believer who is called to witness for their religious belief, and on account of this witness, endures suffering and/or death. The term, in this later sense, entered the English language as a loanword. The death of a martyr or the value attributed to it is called martyrdom.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martyr

In psychology, a person who has a martyr complex, sometimes associated with the term victim complex, desires the feeling of being a martyr for his/her own sake, seeking out suffering or persecution because it feeds a psychological need.

My Gratitude

I am grateful my husband has a strong constitution and can survive what most could not. May the Goddess continue to guide and protect us.

Finding Home…

Sometimes, I think it is just as important to find out where you don’t belong as much as it is to find out where you do belong. And, perhaps, more importantly, graciously accepting that you don’t belong somewhere or that you only belonged for a short while and it is time to move on.

After so many years of travels on the path, I now find contentment in that I belong exactly where I am standing. I need no excuse or justification for that. There is no apology to make for it either. It is simply is what it is and nothing more. I am fortunate and blessed that my husband and I stand beside each other.

In this spot right here, we will build our castle – stone by stone with our own hands. And at the end of the day, if I roam these halls with naught else but the spirits and my familiars, then I will count myself blessed for seeing that we created our home where no one else stands. If anyone should pass by and say that it only seems a shack to them or by what right should we deserve to be in such a castle or that we are not good company, then I will bid them good journey on their travels and give them a sandwich to take on their journey to other places far away knowing that this place is where they do not belong.

So in the end, I do not belong there near or far nor amid others validating each other, but in the very place that I am standing. This place. Right here. Right now. The way I am. Being the very being that I am.

Namaste – The spirit within me acknowledges the spirit within you and doesn’t care whether you acknowledge, accept, or validate the spirit in me in return.

Living a Pagan-Wiccan Based Life

Living a Pagan-Wiccan Based Life

For Pagans and Wiccans, there are two “worlds” in which we live – the “spiritual” and the “mundane”. However, these two worlds are not separate like planets in the universe, though. They cross over and sometimes are interwoven as well.

Our beliefs are our beliefs. They are considerations and operatives that motivate and guide us. There are many books available that skim the surfaces of the basics of these beliefs including nature worship, pagan theology, reincarnation, fertility, psychic abilities, magickal talents, etc.

But, how do these beliefs translate into our lives in the mundane. Sometimes I am a little envious of the Christian structure – not the dogma, but rather the structure that helps facilitate their beliefs in various sects to bring their spirituality into their lives. Most of PW (Pagan-Wiccan) communities do not have the resources, materials, or structures that the Christian sects have.

For example, almost every Christian sect offers some type of marital deepening or counseling imperative – workshops, lectures, other successful Christian couples, wives groups, husband groups. In the PW community, there is no such thing really. If you are lucky, you might be able to afford to travel to a gathering and there might be a couples workshop or more likely a dancing workshop. Then the couple goes home and that’s that. What then? They can go utilize the resources of outside or non-religious based options. These options often involve the Money/Insurance circuit and means you need to have the ability to pay and or insurance coverage.

Go to any established Christian group and ask for a marriage based study group or counseling group and BAM! They often even have a pamphlet ready for you outlining everything that is offered to the Christian couple – Couples Night out with the church providing childcare, a list of books suggested for married people to stay close, a wives bible study group, a family man bible study group, etc.

Now compare this to the PW offerings. Most likely you will get a suggestion to see a marriage counselor (money/insurance) or that there is some retreat somewhere (money/insurance) or maybe someone can talk to you sometime.

The PW communities have a huge need for belief-based resources. We need teen counseling, pagan parenting, retirement planning, indigent assistance, etc. There is a small grassroots movement to provide some of these things, but they are usually reliant upon one person fighting the good fight. We all need to fight the good fight though.

It is a dream that I have that we can becoming willing to look at the successful structures of some of the established religions and begin such things ourselves without feeling the need to absorb the dogmatic approaches either.

Brightest of Blessings
Mead Muse
http://meadmuse.wordpress.com/

Colli Iaith – Elin Fflur O’r Albwm Cysgodion

Colli Iaith – Elin Fflur O’r Albwm Cysgodion, Recordiau Sain. From The ‘Cysgodion’ Album [Shadows] – Sain Records

Lyrics / Geiriau:
Colli iaith a cholli urddas,
Colli awen, colli barddas;
Colli coron aur cymdeithas
Ac yn eu lle cael bratiaith fas.

Colli’r hen alawon persain,
Colli tannau’r delyn gywrain;
Colli’r corau’n diasbedain
Ac yn eu lle cael clebar brain.

Colli crefydd, colli enaid,
Colli ffydd yr hen wroniaid;
Colli popeth glân a thelaid
Ac yn eu lle cael baw a llaid.

Colli tir a cholli tyddyn,
Colli Elan a Thryweryn;
Colli Claerwen a Llanwddyn
A’r wlad i gyd dan ddŵr llyn.

Cael yn ôl o borth marwolaeth
Gân a ffydd a bri yr heniaith;
Cael yn ôl yr hen dreftadaeth
A Chymru’n dechrau ar ei hymdaith.

ENGLISH TRANSLATION:
Losing language and losing dignity,
Losing muse and losing bardism,
Losing the golden crown of society
And in its place a shallow bastard language.

Losing the old sweet-sounding strains,
Losing the harp’s skillful strings,
Losing the resounding choirs
And in its place the clamor of crows.

Losing creed, losing soul
Losing the faith of the old brave people,
osing everything pure and beautiful
And in its place dirt and mud.

Losing land and losing small-holdings,
Losing Elan and Tryweryn*,
Losing Claerwen and Llanwyddyn
And the whole country beneath a lake’s water.

Getting back from the door of death
A song and faith and respect for the old language;
Getting back the old heritage
And Wales begins her own journey.

Breaking in a New Besom a/k/a Flying School

Betrayal

Guide Stones (Rosetta Stones) – Unusual Places in US (Georgia)

“The Georgia Guidestones is a large granite monument in Elbert County, Georgia, USA. A message comprising ten guides is inscribed on the structure in eight modern languages, and a shorter message is inscribed at the top of the structure in four ancient languages’ scripts: Babylonian, Classical Greek, Sanskrit, and Egyptian hieroglyphs.

The structure is sometimes referred to as an “American Stonehenge” though in comparison to the massive plinths of Stonehenge and the empty space of Salisbury plain surrounding that monument, the Guidestones are of a noticeably smaller scale.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgia_Guidestones

See Also: Georgia Guide Stones Guidebook at http://www.wired.com/images/multimedia/magazine/1705/Wired_May_2009_Georgia_Guidestones.pdf

Carhenge – Unusual Places in the US (Nebraska)

“Carhenge, which replicates Stonehenge, consists of the circle of cars, 3 standing trilithons within the circle, the heel stone, slaughter stone, and 2 station stones, and the Aubrey circle, named after Sir John Aubrey who first recognized the earthworks and great stones as a prehistoric temple in 1648. It was not until excavations undertaken in the 1920’s that they were found to be holes cut to hold timber uprights. A total of 56 holes were discovered and named the Aubrey Holes in honor of John Aubrey’s observation. “

The artist of this unique car sculpture, Jim Reinders, experimented with unusual and interesting artistic creations throughout his life. While living in England, he had the opportunity to study the design and purpose of Stonehenge. His desire to copy Stonehenge in physical size and placement came to fruition in the summer of 1987 with the help of many family members.

Thirty-eight automobiles were placed to assume the same proportions as Stonehenge with the circle measuring approximately 96 feet in diameter. Some autos are held upright in pits five feet deep, trunk end down, while those cars which are placed to form the arches have been welded in place. All are covered with gray spray paint. The honor of depicting the heel stone goes to a 1962 Caddy.

Carhenge was built as a memorial to Reinders’ father who once lived on the farm where Carhenge now stands. While relatives were gathered following the death of Reinders’ father in 1982, the discussion turned to a memorial and the idea of a Stonehenge replica was developed. The family agreed to gather in five years and build it. The clan, about 35 strong, gathered in June 1987 and went to work. They held the dedication on the Summer Solstice in 1987, with champagne, poetry, songs and a play written by the family.

http://www.carhenge.com/

The Need for Validation

Validation seems to be one of the biggest issues in the community. When one is uncomfortable in one’s own skin and in one’s own path, then a person tends to try to define themselves in relation to those surrounding them and in defining in such a manner, they tend to look at things and other people as better or lesser than themselves.

The need for validation comes from lack of faith and fear. New people don’t want to be viewed as vulnerable to someone else who might have “powers”. To new people, it’s almost having to choose to walk amongst wolves. You don’t know what it REALLY going to happen and whether you will meet postive or negative people or energies. Many new people are self-defensive in the face of the unknown.

Then you have those who trained in some method, but they do not have deep faith in their beliefs. Perhaps, another path will have more. Perhaps, this path or tradition is made up. Perhaps, I am just playing sci-fi in a circle. And because self-doubt creeps in from lack of faith, then most people go back to that point of trying to define themselves and their beliefs in relation to those around them again.

Traditions and paths are tools that we use. They are not definitions of us. Sometimes we forget that, eh? There may 10, 100, 1,000 or a million witches, pagans, paths, traditions out there. But regardless of how many, there is only one witch like me. Is that egotistical? No. It’s confidence and faith. It doesn’t mean that I am better or less than another, just simply that I am what I am without basing my belief on whether someone else acknowledges that or not. It’s nice sometimes, but not a requirement for faith. There’s a difference between the two. Somtimes we just forget that.