Yesterday My Life Was Supposed to Change Forever

Yesterday My Life Was Supposed to Change Forever

I was supposed to get into a severe car accident yesterday. A large delivery truck of some type was supposed to hit me in my car. It wasn’t going to be my fault at all and everyone who witnessed the accident would tell about how much the truck driver was at fault. Others would have been amazed that anyone would survive such an accident.

My leg broken, my knee injured, and back surgery required. I would have had multiple stitches and bruises and the pain would have been immense. The back injury would require full open surgery and I would be placed in some type of body cast for many months. They will tell me that it will usually take six months to mostly recover, but because of the extensive injuries, I should expect it to take nine months to a year of intensive rehabilitation.

My husband, children and mother will cry. They wouldn’t know for sure if I would even survive for a few days and then later, they would have to endure my recuperation and inability to function. They would eventually become depressed and lash out in anger at me, not because I did this to them, but simply because it happened to me and they have no choice except to deal with it. Later in life, they would reflect and feel guilty even though I would tell them that I always understood and it is alright.

However, as is Her way, from the ashes would rise a new opportunity and a better life for my family and children. The truck driver will have been a driver for a national company that has deep insurance pockets. They would attempt to settle for a large sum of money out of court so that to preserve their brand name with the upmost integrity.

We would have accepted the money. Our children would have had opportunities they never would have had otherwise. Four of the five will become professionals and their families never would have had to worry about financial security. My husband and I would have bought an RV and tried to travel when I was not in too much pain. We would never have had to worry about retirement again.

I would have spent the rest of my life in pain. Sometimes so unbearable that even the best pain medication would not help. I would become addicted to pain pill although I try my best to keep switching to avoid it until one day, I say screw it and take whatever narcotics and opiates the doctor gives to me. I would convince my husband to take a second side-wife because being intimate would be too painful. He will feel conflicted because he would develop deep feelings for the other wife as well as for me.

For a few years, I would be able to continue to work in circles and then have to step aside and only attend worship circles. I would write many books, but be limited in lectures and conversations with people. I would get lost between the worlds and become reclusive.

My children would go off and start doing most things without me there and come to automatically make plans and arrangements that don’t include me because they don’t want to upset me by telling me about things I cannot do or attend. They would still spend time with me, but it would be different as I tire easily.

I decided to stay home yesterday. I painted the house and ruminated about this all day. My mother went to the grocery store and paid a bill for me. My husband ran another errand on the way home on the way home from work.

The difficult part is not knowing what would have happened and avoiding it, but the time afterwards when you begin to think about the choice you made.

You second guess what you know to be true.
You wonder if you are being egotistical and selfish for not embracing that destiny path.
You wonder if there will be and, if so, what will the ramifications for making that decision.
You ask yourself ask myself what the point is of having visions, being a seer, and knowing things if you are not supposed to be proactive about it.
You wonder if you are changing the course of nature and how it will affect others.
You search yourself to see if maybe you might have manifested this vision for some hidden subconscious reason even though you know that it was not self-manifesting.
You doubt yourself because although you know that there is no physical proof to validate your vision?

After this, I remember that spending too much time on such things is not healthy and to continue to dwell on such things is what causes Seers the most angst and undermines their abilities.

I surrendered to my faith and thanked the Lord and Lady for their vision and their protection and permitting me the ability to make such decisions. Then I continue to work about my house.

Later that day, I was listening to the radio and heard reports of the truck accident that resulted serious injuries. I look online and read about the injuries and I have to wonder if the injured took my place in the accident or if I would have been just one more person involved. I get no insight when I seek for an answer and decide to believe that I would have been just one more person on the scene.

***
Sometimes I hear people saying they wished that they had the Sight and visions. I usually respond, “No. You don’t. Really. You don’t.”

Advertisements
Published in: on September 15, 2009 at 10:39 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

The URI to TrackBack this entry is: https://meadmuse.wordpress.com/2009/09/15/yesterday-my-life-was-supposed-to-change-forever/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: